“[Love] does not behave rudely, does not seek its own” (1 Corinthians 13:5, NKJV)
Two weeks ago I gave two descriptions of what love is, and last week I describes two things love does not do. Today, I continue my study of 1 Corinthians 13 by describing two things love is not. Love is not rude and love is not self-seeking. There are times when it is faster to show the opposite of what something is rather than showing the full list of what it is. That is part of why the Bible gives longer lists of what not to do than it does on what to do, because the do-not-do list is shorter. So what does love not do and what is the opposite of it?
Love Is Not Rude
Love is not rude. In all its attributes, love is not rude nor will it behave rudely. What is rudeness? Perhaps the easiest way to describe being rude is to act out of turn or to disrupt the order of things. Rude people constantly interrupt others when they are talking. They will bump others, often going out of their way to do so, many times for no particular reason. Rude people do not wait their turn, nor offer others the ‘right-of-way,’ whether it be on the road or in entering a doorway.
Rude people strive to knock down anyone they perceive to be in their way of their goals and ambitions. They will cut off speakers from their talks and not let someone else get a word in. If they don’t shout to cause disruptions, they may be on their phones playing games or texting someone else, or talking to a neighbor. Rude people only have their own interests and own desires in mind and are either oblivious or mad when anyone else is in their way. Put simply, rude people have no respect for the other person.
Love is not any of that. Love is always outwardly focused. While love is aware of the actual needs of self, it is ready and willing to lay aside those needs for another. Even if you have the right-of-way, love will often defer to the other if there is any remote hint of possible confusion. Love patiently waits its turn to speak and often keeps silent even if there is an opportunity to speak. When others are speaking, love gives them their full attention and listens, seeking to understand what they are trying to say. Even if said person is wrong in every regard to what they say, love will listen and care to hear it.
Love always takes the lowest seat in humility, whereas rude people always seek the best seat. Jesus told a parable about that. If we take the lowest seat willingly, the seat of a servant, then God will honor us by putting us into a position of prominence. Yet if we are rude, God will take the seat we sought greedily, offer it to someone else, and we will be left with the lowest place left.
Love Is Not Self-Seeking
Love does not seek after self and self’s interests. If you have not noticed a pattern yet, every description Paul gave of love up to this point is comparing and contrasting serving self vs serving others. With possible one or two exceptions, each description Paul gives love in this chapter makes this distinction between self and others.
Paris Reidhead’s most famous sermon is “Ten Shekels and a Shirt.” Towards the end of this sermon, he gives a tale of a pastor who approached him. This pastor had a growing church, a radio program, excellent Sunday school classes, and yet he admittedly lacked the power of the Holy Spirit. Reidhead knew full well what this pastor was going through because that spirit had shown itself through him too. Reidhead compared this to driving up with a Cadillac and saying “Fill her up with the best you have.” He wanted God’s power to push his own agenda even further. Reidhead suggested to drop everything and give God complete control to every single thing he was doing; only then would God actually do anything for him.
This pastor was self-seeking. He did not love God as he should have. He did not love the Bride of Christ or his church as he should have because he was seeking his own agenda and his own reputation. Was he sincere? Very likely. Did he have good intentions? Sure. But was he doing what God wanted him to do? No, because he was doing his operations without God.
Sadly, much the same can be said about many of us. Do I write for Worldview Warriors because this is where God lead me, or because it gives me a platform for me? Do I seek to speak because I want to be seen, or because God is putting me in that position? There are times where I cannot necessarily answer appropriately. It is so easy for me to give a message and then seek out the praise of others for how I did or to get accolades for great points I made.
Biblical love does not serve for what you get out of it, but it serves even if you get nothing in return. Biblical love does not serve only when there is interest or reason for you to be there. It goes above and beyond that. I recall a time not long ago when the mayor of El Paso, Texas, came to serve the homeless during Thanksgiving. The media was all set up and he served exactly one dinner plate while the cameras were rolling and then left. The newspapers and news outlets then boasted about how the mayor took time to serve the homeless for Thanksgiving. He received every bit of praise he would get for such action that day, and will not get anything else for it. That was self-serving and not love by any means.
Love puts self to the side and lifts up others. Love never puts self in front of what God has laid before us. Love will set aside our schedules and not get angry or frustrated with interruptions. Love never pushes others out of the way nor makes a point to fulfill self’s interests. Love only has what God has in mind and that is to use all our resources to serve his Kingdom. Next week, we will see how love handles grievances in how it is not easily angered nor keeps records of wrongs.
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