You know your house is small when...
you can vacuum every square inch using the same (okay, the only) electrical outlet
the house is measured in square inches and not square feet
you're sitting in the living room at the front of the house and you can hear the cat licking his fur in the upstairs back bedroom
you lie in bed at night and your feet touch the balcony door
you can hear your neighbours whispering in their own beds, "I asked you to cut your toenails how many times?"
exercise means half an hour of running up and down the stairs -- 4,682 times
you flip a pancake and it lands in the tub
you have to do your Richard Simmon's workout in the neighbour's back yard
speed cleaning takes eight seconds
you buy beer by the tri-pack
the dog yawns and swallows four cats
your uncle can pee from the top of the stairs into the lake
the plants are fertilized by touching each other
you host holiday dinners in shifts
breakfast is served from the stereo turntable
instead of a humidifier, a cup of water will do
the electric bill is 87 cents per month
decorating includes hanging the picture
every time you gain five pounds the neighbours look really really worried
you have to buy groceries twelve times a week
overnight guests sleep in your car
the goldfish, a new cd, the goldfish, a new cd...
when the telephone rings you answer the iron (I know, I know)
complete home renovations happen overnight (literally)
insulation = two bathmats + 18 " of duct tape
your favourite holiday song is "Oh Christmas Plant"
<:^)
Archived Monday, October 1, 2007
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